”“Did you jump then?” asked her mother.“I’m getting to that. Everyone else had jumped, and I was the last one left on the plane. I told the sergeant that I was too scared to jump. He told me to get off the plane or he’d kick my butt.”“So, did you jump?”“No. He tried to push me out of the plane but I grabbed onto the door and refused to go. Finally, he called over the Jump Master. The Jump Master is this great big guy about six-foot six, and 280 pounds. He said to me, ‘Are you gonna jump or not?’ I said, ‘No sir, I’m too scared.’ So, the Jump Master pulled down his zipper and took out his Johnson. I swear, Mom, it was about ten inches long and big around as a baseball bat! He said, ‘Either you jump out that door or I’m sticking this bad boy right up your ass.’”“So, did you jump?” asked her mother.“A little at first.”Today is my baby girl’s 18th birthday. I be so glad that this be my last child support payment! Month after month, year after year, all those payments!So I call my baby. Janet's dead husband's Momma decided to move in with Janet, to "help her grieve" and to help her spend her settlement money. As she was packing up her old house to move in with Janet, she somehow had a terrible accident and fell down the stairs to her death. Trouble was, some of her old biddy friends told the cops she never, ever went upstairs. She was deathly afraid she would fall down and hurt herself. Damn! No wonder that old bitch had put up such a struggle. The first and second times I carried her up those stairs she really put up a fight. By the fifth time, most of the fight was pretty well gone. Fortunately, the detectives ignored that lead and didn't pursue it. If they had looked too closely, they might have found the tiny little injection site behind her left knee nor did they do an autopsy, which might have shown some interesting chemicals in her blood. Like I say, never leave an accidental death to chance... To continue with the bad news, shortly after Janet's.
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